An Open Letter to Gender Critical Parents

Dear Gender Critical Mom/Dad,

I'm writing this letter because I feel like we're losing each other, and it breaks my heart. I know you've been spending a lot of time on websites like pittparents and reading articles from places like Reality's Last Stand, and I'm afraid that these sources have led you down a path of fear and misinformation, rather than one of understanding and support. I know you're coming from a place of love and concern, but the information you're relying on is harmful and inaccurate.

I want you to know that my identity as a trans person is not a result of negligence or malpractice from the gender health therapy community. The affirming care I have received has been a lifeline for me, a way to align my body with my innate sense of self and alleviate the deep distress and dysphoria I've experienced for so long.

The idea that exploratory talk therapy alone can "cure" my gender dysphoria is a dangerous misconception. While therapy can be an important tool for self-discovery and mental health, it cannot change my fundamental gender identity. Suggesting that my identity, and the identities of others like me, are merely symptoms of underlying issues is dismissive and invalidating of our real, lived experiences.

I know you're worried about the statistics around suicide in the trans community. But have you considered that these high rates might be a result of the discrimination, stigma, and lack of acceptance that we face, rather than a result of transition itself? Studies have repeatedly shown that trans youth who are supported and affirmed in their identities have much better mental health outcomes than those who are rejected or denied care.

The claim that there are no studies on the outcomes of exploratory therapy for gender dysphoria is simply untrue. Numerous studies, compiled by reputable organizations like the Cornell What We Know Project, have found that affirming care, including medical transition when appropriate, leads to significant improvements in mental health and quality of life for trans people like me.

I am not a "lifelong patient" for embracing my truth. My transition is a journey of becoming whole, not a disease to be cured. The idea that we can "heal the mind by harming the body" is a false dichotomy - for many of us, affirming our bodies is an integral part of healing our minds and spirits.

I urge you to be cautious of the narratives promoted on sites like pittparents.com or by individuals like those at Reality's Last Stand. Many of these sources promote discredited theories and advocate for practices, like conversion therapy, that are deeply harmful to trans youth. Instead, I encourage you to engage with mainstream medical organizations like the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Medical Association, and the American Psychological Association, all of which support affirming care for trans youth.

There are also many wonderful resources and support groups for parents of trans kids, like PFLAG, the Human Rights Campaign, and Gender Spectrum. These organizations can connect you with other families who have gone through similar journeys and can offer guidance and perspective.

Most importantly, I need you to listen to me, your child. My identity is not a phase, a trend, or a symptom. It is a core part of who I am. When you deny or question that, it feels like you are rejecting me as a person. All I want is to be seen, loved, and accepted for who I truly am.

I know this journey hasn't been easy for you. But please, don't let fear and misinformation from sites like pittparents.com and those like it cloud your love and support for me. I need you by my side, now more than ever.

With all my love,

Child of an Indoctrinated Parent

P.S. Here are some resources that I think could be really helpful for you:

- PFLAG's "Our Trans Loved Ones" resource: https://pflag.org/ourtranslovedones

- The Human Rights Campaign's "Supporting & Caring for Transgender Children" guide: https://www.hrc.org/resources/supporting-caring-for-transgender-children

- The Gender Spectrum resources for parents: https://www.genderspectrum.org/resources

- The American Academy of Pediatrics' policy statement on supporting trans youth: https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/142/4/e20182162/37381/Ensuring-Comprehensive-Care-and-Support-for