An Open Letter to My Gender-Critical Mother
From a lovely random internet stranger
Dear Mom,
I'm writing this letter because I feel like I'm losing you, and it breaks my heart. We used to be so close, but ever since you've become involved with these gender-critical groups and ideologies, it feels like there's a widening gulf between us. I miss my mom, the one who used to love and accept me unconditionally.
I know you think you're protecting me, that you're fighting for what's best for me. But the truth is, your words and actions are hurting me deeply. When you misgender me or use my deadname, it feels like a knife to my heart. It makes me feel like you don't see me, like you don't accept or love the real me.
I understand that this is all new to you, and that you may have fears or concerns about my transition. But I need you to understand that this isn't a phase or a trend. It's not something I'm doing to hurt you or rebel against you. This is who I am, at my core. It's a fundamental part of my identity, and it's not going to change.
When you post articles on Facebook about "rapid onset gender dysphoria" or the "transgender craze," it feels like you're invalidating my entire existence. Those articles are filled with misinformation and scaremongering tactics. They don't reflect the reality of my experiences or the experiences of the trans community.
I know you've been spending a lot of time on websites like pittparents.com and reading books by gender-critical authors. But have you also sought out resources from affirming sources? Have you talked to the parents of other trans kids to hear their stories? Have you listened, really listened, to what I'm trying to tell you about my own journey?
I'm not brainwashed. I'm not confused. I'm not following a fad. I'm just trying to live my truth and be happy in my own skin. And I need your support and love now more than ever.
Remember when you used to tell me that you'd always be there for me, no matter what? That there was nothing I could do that would make you stop loving me? I'm holding you to that promise now. I need you to love me for who I am, not who you want me to be.
I know it's not easy. I know it might take time. But I'm begging you, please don't let these gender-critical ideologies rob us of our relationship. Don't let them make you forget what's really important - the love between a mother and her child.
I'm still your child. I'm still the same person you've always loved, just with a different name and pronouns. My transition doesn't change that. It doesn't change the fundamental bond we share.
So please, come back to me. Set aside the rhetoric and the dogma, and just be my mom again. Listen to me, support me, love me. That's all I've ever wanted from you.
I know we can get through this together. I know we can find our way back to each other. But it has to start with you being willing to open your heart and your mind.
I love you, Mom. I always have, and I always will. But I need you to love me back, fully and unconditionally. I need you to see me, the real me.
I hope this letter reaches the part of you that remembers what it means to be a mother. The part of you that would move mountains for your child's happiness and well-being.
I'm here, Mom. I'm waiting for you. Please come back to me.
With all my love,
[Redacted]
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