Local Parent Discovers Thesaurus, Unleashes Tirade of Transphobic Misinformation

PITTSBURG, PA - In a groundbreaking display of linguistic prowess through the use of a thesaurus and heavy dose of scientific ignorance, a local parent has taken to the internet to share their magnum opus, “Hell on Earth,” a scathing indictment of “transgender ideology” peppered with a dizzying array of synonyms for “evil.”

The article, published on the esteemed platform pittparents.com, has quickly gained notoriety for its author’s impressive ability to consult a thesaurus while completely disregarding scientific evidence and basic logic.

“I’ve never seen someone use so many words to say so little,” marveled Dr. Samantha Lee, a renowned endocrinologist who specializes in gender-affirming care. “It’s almost impressive how they managed to cram in ‘mephistophelian’ and ‘flagitious’ without once mentioning the numerous studies supporting the efficacy and safety of hormone therapy.”¹2

The author, who bravely chose to remain anonymous, boldly asserts that “gender hormones” are “harmful” and “unproven,” despite the fact that hormone therapy has been a well-established treatment for gender dysphoria for decades. They also claim that transgender ideology “drives” young people to “sterilize” themselves, a statement that Dr. Lee dismisses as “utter nonsense.”

“Hormone therapy is not some willy-nilly decision made on a whim,” she explained. “It’s a carefully considered, medically supervised process that involves extensive counseling and informed consent. But I guess that’s not as catchy or as alarming as ‘sterilization.’”3

The article’s pièce de résistance, however, is the author’s brilliant comparison of transgender ideology to the devil himself. “It’s a stroke of genius,” said Dr. Lee, barely containing her laughter. “I mean, why rely on actual evidence when you can just invoke religious imagery and scare tactics?”

Critics have praised the article for its masterful use of logical fallacies, including the slippery slope argument that accepting transgender individuals will lead to the collapse of society as we know it. “It’s a classic fear-mongering technique,” noted Dr. Lee. “If we let people live authentically, the next thing you know, we’ll all be worshipping Satan and sacrificing genitals and gametes next to the goats.”

The author’s extensive vocabulary has also garnered attention, with many readers marveling at their ability to use words like “malefic” and “mountebank” while simultaneously demonstrating a complete lack of understanding of basic biology and human rights.

“It’s a testament to the power of language,” said one commenter. “You can make anything sound scary if you use enough big words and ignore all the evidence that contradicts your point.”

The author's portrayal of transgender activists as a powerful and threatening force is a common tactic used by those who oppose transgender rights. By painting themselves as the victims of a militant "transgender lobby," they attempt to garner sympathy for their cause and distract from the very real harms and challenges faced by transgender individuals.

"It's a classic case of false equivalence," said Dr. Lee. "While 'gender critical' activists may face criticism or pushback for their views, they are not experiencing anything close to the levels of violence and discrimination faced by transgender people on a daily basis."

According to the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey, 46% of transgender respondents reported being verbally harassed in the past year due to their gender identity, while 9% reported being physically attacked. More than half (54%) had experienced some form of intimate partner violence, and 47% had been sexually assaulted at some point in their lifetime.

"These numbers are even higher for transgender people of color, particularly Black and Indigenous transgender women," noted Dr. Lee. "To suggest that 'gender critical' activists are the true victims in this situation is not only absurd but also incredibly harmful to the transgender community."

Despite the author's claims of being silenced or intimidated by transgender activists, "gender critical" voices continue to have a significant platform in media and politics. In contrast, transgender individuals often face significant barriers to having their voices heard and their rights respected.

"It's time for us to stop giving credence to these false narratives of victimhood and start listening to the actual experiences and needs of transgender people," said Dr. Lee. "Only then can we hope to create a more just and equitable society for all."

As for the parent’s heartfelt concern for their child’s well-being, Dr. Lee has some advice: “Instead of spending hours scouring the thesaurus for new ways to demonize your child’s identity, maybe try listening to them with an open mind and educating yourself on the realities of transgender experiences. You might be surprised by what you learn.”

As for our hot take? Hearing Dr. Lee at this point spurred us to recall a rather pithy quote: “Never Before Have So Many People With So Little To Say Said So Much To So Few”

As we were leaving, Dr. Lee stopped us and gave us this parting quote “I don’t need a thesaurus to describe that author or their article. One word suffices: despicable.” We agree, as we find the author’s words and actions not just wrong, but morally reprehensible.

In other news, paid substack subscriptions and books sales at pittparents.com increased 15% after the release of the author’s essay.