TERF Woman Bravely Refuses to Accept Cousin's Transgender Identity

SPRINGFIELD - In a stunning display of arrogance and willful ignorance, local self-proclaimed TERF Jane Smith has made it her mission to convince her adult cousin to abandon his transgender identity and detransition.

Smith, who hasn't seen her cousin in over five years, sprang into action after learning of his transition. "As soon as I heard the news, I knew I had to save my cousin from making a terrible mistake," Smith said. "Sure, she showed signs of identifying as male from the time she was a young child, but I know her true identity better than he does."

Drawing on her extensive expertise in psychology and gender studies (which consists of reading pseudoscience and TERF blogs), Smith has developed a brilliant theory about why her cousin transitioned. "It can't possibly be because he's actually a man," Smith explained. "Clearly, this is just a misguided response to childhood trauma and a way to posthumously rebel against his, I mean her mother. I mean, I've met her a few times, so I definitely know her inner thoughts and motivations better than she does." When challenged on these points, Smith stated “It couldn't possibly be a genuine expression of her identity," Smith explained. "I mean, she liked sports and wore baggy clothes as a kid. Clearly, that means she's a lesbian, not a trans person."

To support her cousin, Smith has gone above and beyond by repeatedly misgendering him, dismissing his joy at receiving gender-affirming care as "cult-like behavior," and suggesting that his use of testosterone is "suicide." "I just want what's best for her," Smith said, wiping away a self-righteous tear. "And what's best for her is to conform to my narrow, essentialist view of womanhood, regardless of her own feelings and experiences." When asked about what her parents have said Smith said “My parents seem to have assumed over the years that, because I am a TERF I don’t accept my cousin as a human being. They have come right out and said as much. That’s ridiculous, of course, and I have no idea why they think that.” Smith paused, and then followed up with “It is not that I don’t accept her as a human being, of course I do. I just don’t accept her as the human being she says she is.”

Smith's family has expressed confusion and frustration over her fixation on her cousin's gender identity. "We've tried to explain to her that supporting someone means respecting their identity, not trying to argue them out of it," said Smith's exasperated mother. "But she's convinced that she knows better than all of us, including her cousin." We read the first set of articles she sent us, but in spite of our best efforts, she was already too deeply indoctrinated into that gender critical cult. We could not reach her, she was too captured by the echo chamber to hear facts or reason. We later realized that this is what it means to be a TERF.

Undeterred by her family's lack of enthusiasm for her TERF crusade, Smith remains committed to saving her cousin from the "transgender cult." She plans to corner him at an upcoming family wedding and bombard him with TERF talking points until he sees the error of his ways. "I've been preparing for this moment for years," Smith confided. "I have a foolproof plan to make him detransition using nothing but my flawless logic and complete lack of empathy."

When asked why her cousin hasn't cut her out of his life despite her blatant disrespect for his identity, Smith was momentarily stumped. "It's probably because deep down, she knows I'm right," she finally said, dismissing the possibility that her cousin might simply be far more gracious and patient than she deserves. "I just want to protect her from the dangers of living authentically," Smith tearfully confessed. "Is that so wrong?"

At press time, Smith was spotted crafting the perfect condescending speech for the wedding, confident that her cousin will abandon his "transgender delusion" and thank her for her unwavering commitment to being a transphobic ass. Because there's nothing more feminist than believing you know someone else's identity better than they do, and not just body policing, but being certain to reduce everyone to their genitals and birthing capacity.