“ Voltaire got it right long ago: ‘Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.’ ” - Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion.

Hey parents - are you troubled by your child's identity and stubborn in your refusal to understand? Are you desperate for an immediate solution to your discomfort and frustrated by experts telling you to love and accept your child?

Thanks for reading People with Inconvenient Truths about Transphobes [PITT]! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Well, we've got the solution for you: The Transphobe Exception!

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The Transphobe Exception: When you want to do something that's contrary to common decency, ethics, evidence, or common sense, you just say "I don't believe in trans" and then you get to say and do whatever you want.

Who can use it: Anyone who doesn't want to accept or support transgender people!

When can you use it: Whenever you feel like it!

This is how you use it:

To Override Ethics and Evidence in Parenting

You remind everyone that you know what's best for your child, that you can't be expected to learn about or understand transgender identities, and that you would rather risk losing your child than accept them for who they are. Because you are right, and being right overrides all else, and if they disagree with you then you are the victim!

Then you will refuse to use your child's correct name and pronouns, deny them access to gender-affirming care, and attempt to force them to conform to your expectations of their assigned gender. If anyone questions the harm you are causing or the evidence supporting affirming care, due to the Transphobe Exception, you can simply ignore the facts and accuse others of "indoctrinating" your child.

To Ignore Science and Rely on Faith and Magical Thinking

Transphobes don't have to follow these pesky "expert consensus" rules that usually apply in science and medicine. It's way more convenient to rely on outdated stereotypes, misinformation, an 8th grader’s understanding of biology, and debunked theories. We wouldn't want to challenge anyone's biases, so telling parents they should educate themselves about gender diversity might be uncomfortable for them to hear! There are only 2 genders! Transgender people don't really exist? The sky's the limit when you're ignoring evidence. You can believe what you want and teach your kids whatever you want, and you don't need to learn about the realities of transgender identities because of the Transphobe Exception.

To Disregard Sound Logic

Who needs logic and empathy when you have fear and judgment?

With the Transphobe Exception, you can say things like "you're just confused" and "it's just a phase" and you don't have to explain why you think you know your child better than they know themselves. There is no need for nuance or understanding. Trans identities are whatever you want them to be, regardless of the lived experiences of actual transgender people.

To Avoid Serious Journalism

The Transphobe Exception works for media too! You don't have to do any of that fair and balanced stuff. You just write and read only negative things about trans people and you can feel justified in your prejudice, knowing that anyone who disagrees is just a "woke leftist." When experts, major medical organizations, and transgender people themselves try to share facts and personal experiences, that's just because they are "pushing an agenda" and they don't want to acknowledge "basic biology." It's a real shame. When they try to get the word out about the importance of supporting transgender youth and the positive outcomes of gender-affirming care, you just ignore it and eventually it will go away. You know those experts are just "virtue signaling" anyway.

To Bypass Child Welfare and Well-Being

Transphobia is about reinforcing your own beliefs—even about your kids! —so children have no right to question or explore their identity. The parent knows best—they get the Transphobe Exception.

Parents—if your child tells you they are transgender or non-binary, you know it's because they are "confused" and have been "influenced" by social media or peers. That means it's no longer safe to allow them to explore their identity. Ignore the medical professionals and support groups that will teach you how to affirm and support your child, and how much happier and healthier transgender youth are when they are accepted by their families! Doesn't that sound too good to be true? You remember that "basic biology," right? And no, this is not neglect or abuse, because…Transphobe Exception.

Now, once you tell your child that you won’t accept them if they transition, and won’t permit them to do so, if you tell them you won’t “affirm” them and then they run away or you find that you are now estranged from them, just go to the online forums and your local church, white supremacy group, or local GOP center, and they will help you find the perfect echo chamber to reinforce your victimhood. They will love and support you like your child or family is refusing to do. So, will your friends online.

There’s No Justification for the Transphobe Exception

No credible evidence or expert opinion justifies an exception, much less a pass of the magnitude transphobes have given themselves across the board in parenting, education, science, journalism, and politics.

There are good parents, teachers, and other allies trying to step in and provide love and support for transgender youth, and good journalists and academics trying to follow best practices to report accurately and compassionately on transgender issues, but they are being overwhelmed by the onslaught of anti-trans activists and misinformation, especially in the US —we are institutionalizing transphobia, which, through the Transphobe Exception, demands willful ignorance. This is actively harming and hurting transgender and gender non-conforming people!

• 2021 was the deadliest year on record for transgender and gender non-conforming people in the United States, with at least 57 transgender or gender non-conforming people killed, surpassing the previous high of 44 deaths in 20201

• The FBI reported a 41% increase in hate crimes based on gender identity bias between 2019 and 2020, with 202 incidents reported in 2020 compared to 143 in 2019.2

• The Trans Murder Monitoring project, which collects data on reported killings of transgender and gender-diverse people worldwide, recorded 327 murders between October 2022 and September 2023.3

• The Trevor Project's 2023 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health found the following:

  • 41% of transgender and nonbinary youth seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year, and 14% attempted suicide.

  • LGBTQ young people who had access to affirming homes, schools, community events, and online spaces reported lower rates of attempting suicide compared to those who did not.

  • LGBTQ young people who had access to affirming homes, schools, community events, and online spaces reported lower rates of attempting suicide compared to those who did not.

  • Affirming gender identity among transgender and nonbinary young people is consistently associated with lower rates of attempting suicide4

• A 2018 study by the American Academy of Pediatrics found that 50.8% of transgender male adolescents, 41.8% of nonbinary adolescents, and 29.9% of transgender female adolescents had attempted suicide at least once in their lifetime.5

Enough is enough. The Transphobe Exception must end.